Nikki(1:17:48 PM): Sometimes he needs to be dissed, he's getting out of control.
erin(1:17:56 PM): Well, I think that is my topic today.
erin(1:18:03 PM): God forgive me for dissing the Wayne.
Nikki(1:18:17 PM): Hahaahahah
erin(1:18:22 PM): But he has to be taken down a few notches, his studded belt is on just a wee bit too tight.
Nikki(1:18:33 PM): Pretty much.
My dearest lyricist, what has become of you?
You guy's planned this I am assuming, it's no coincidence you match. I am going to hold on to the hope that it's because you can't wear blue...and that borrowed eyeliner from you're new found bff Mr. Wentz does not lurk under those shades.
No Homo?
Fucking glasses!? I shouldn't even finish this post, there is the problem right there. I swear the lenses in these things scramble your brain into drooling dipshit mode. What's next? Bald girls?
What has hypnotized one of the rappers in my "top 5"?
Have the skinny jeans created a Janet Reno grip on his manhood?
What happened to the vile lyrics about "menstruation" & offensively "spitting like a retard"?
We all remember when Garth Brooks pulled that whole "Chris Gaines" thing...in his attempt to try "Alternative Rock" and how well that played out for him, luckily, like Mr. Carter, He has a nice couple million dollar cushion to fall back on.
Or how about Jessica Simpson's stunning Country music career?
Better yet, Mariah Carey's' "Glitter", the only thing that was bright about that movie was the glow of the flames as it crashed, burned and spiraled back down into hell where it belonged. Forever to torture the likes of Hilter/Gacy/Dahmer...to which, though one of them could stomach human or the smell of rotting flesh, I don't believe anyone could stomach that movie.
(side note: Satan, if you ever go on vacation, I assure you I could fill in, I have some ideas)
Ok, Ok, Examples made..so..
Mr. Carter, After writing what you claim is your best album, and even putting your baby picture as the CD artwork, as most great rappers have done on their prized albums...WHY DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN WOULD YOU FOLLOW WITH THIS?!
Now I know, every white girl within an ear shot is probably counting her blessings.
HE IS SCENE, REJOICE!
NO.
This is kind of like when Beyonce came out with that song about what she'd do if she was a dude...
(your thighs give to a slight advantage if you do ever want to pursue that dream, B.)
Does anyone remember Ciaras' "Like a boy" you know, the song about, ohhh... ACTING LIKE A BOY..Now, I'm sure it's just some mix up that B basically wrote a acoustic version of this, I bet Queen B has never even heard of the likes of Ciara...right?
Kind of like how Wayne has probably never heard of Avril Lavigne...
oh how we'd all like to not have ever actually heard of her, but, in early 2002, we did, it happened...we can try to forget..but we all know the lyrics to "sk8er boi" even though we would rather drill used needles in our ears then ever hear it again.
Even on his then thrown of codeine and weed, and insane prison tat's, Wayne apparently couldn't escape that song either..in fact...he revised it years later..
WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE PRESENT!!!
(forgive me for this, reading it may get it stuck in your head.)
"And all of her friends
Stuck up their nose.
And they had a problem with his baggy clothes.
He was a sk8er boi she said see ya later boi.
He wasn't good enough for her."
"Sorry girl but you missed out. Well tough luck that boi's mine now."
Now, I give you, "Prom Queen"..
"But see, she had other plans I couldn't understand
Her and her stupid friends, varsity's biggest fans
Never'll forget the day she laughed and walked away
And I couldn't stop her, I guess she had it all
She had it all figured out
But she left me with a broken heart
Fucked around and turned me down
'Cause she didn't think I could play the part."
"But now the prom queen, the prom queen
Is crying, sitting outside of my door
See, you never know how
How everything could turn around"
Interesting isn't it?
Stick to sampling beats, not lyrics.
And stick to your own genre.
Take off the scarf, AND FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING INTELLIGENT, TAKE OFF THE NON PRESCRIPTION GLASSES..
and if you would just go by the words of another Carter,
"Can't wear skinny jeans cuz my knots don't fit."
You'd save me a lot of frustration.
No comments:
Post a Comment