Self-proclaimed models

Dear girls with tattoos. Just because you have them does not mean anybody wants to see you naked. So please put your saggy, stretch-marked, titties away. Just because you have a full sleeve it doesn't mean that you are now a model. Guns on your hip do not constitute for you showing the world your vagina. Fact of the matter is your vagina looks sad and it makes me sad to see it. I'm assuming the reason for this is because numerous band members as well as their instruments have at some point in time made their way in there. Possibly even in succession. Please realize that letting a guy who plays bass use your chest piece as target practice for his load does not make you famous by association. You then proceed to wonder why you can never find a good man. It is because you are in fact a joke. Failblog.org/you. -RYAN

I second this Ryan. 

Girls, your race to get tattoos is appalling.  I'm nearing 25 and I am still taking my time...you know, given the life expectancy of a tattoo...PERMANENT, it's a wise idea. Granted, girls have full sleeves my age...acceptable, it took thought..HOWEVER... 18 year old's should not, you practically just got done playing with barbies/liking nsync. This is not a race! Covering yourselves in meaningless tattoos so that you can hurry up and be accepted by suicidegirls.com/burning angel/gods girls is sad, and stupid, mainly because if you're willing to get down to your sag bags and ham wallet...they'll more than likely hire you. I'm sure the drastic scene cut and bleach beating your hair took will also help you score points..but mainly, you're willingness to get nude on the Internet. 

Also, sucking dudes off when they pass through your town...isn't some favor or good deed you're doing to a poor sexless man travelling endlessly to the hearts of teenies everywhere....your mouth will not get you a Nobel prize...maybe some fun little bumps in the cracks of your dick chapped lips, but that's about it. You are and always will be that "girl who let me pee on her"...not a friend, potential gf, or anything even close to not being shameful, so brush your teeth and get a clue. Tattoos are not a green light for you to use the auto-timer on your sw33t nikon camera you bought solely because your bedroom wall acts as a blank canvas for your amazing late night modeling sessions. Those will not save you when a dude sees you IRL and  wants to gut himself and use his intestines to swing his poor little testosterone charged body from the ceiling for wanting to fuck you via the intrawebz. Your tattoos can't save you from your muffin top. So please, do the us all a favor before you think having a train sounds like some fun childhood game, or that awesome hello kitty/skull &cross bones/swallow montage you have on your chest is used as an abortion clinic to all of "siqqmosh666xxtilldeathxxAD" future children...put some clothes on, and preferably ones that fit.

-Erin